It feels like I'm completely empty. I have things I could do, but I don't feel any motivation or inspiration to accomplish them.
Bloody hell.
It seems as if life is so much easier when you're a safe kid, living under your parent's guidance and assured of all the things you know about in life. Well, sure, not all people are like that; but it sure was like that for me. I used to be the leader, the British Empire, the Persian Rule, the person who could talk about anything and everything to anyone, everyone. I could explore without anyone seeing me in the bushes, climb high up on a nail salon's roof where you're not supposed to go (the ladder was locked with metal paneling in front; too bad they didn't think anyone could climb up using the rungs on the back), or sneak out to buy McDonalds with my childhood playmate without anyone noticing.
It really sucks being old, a part of society, and responsible, you know? At least when you are small and naive, no one can rightfully or truly scorn you for your faults. They can just blame the older kids or your guardians for making a bad impression (which is sad, but true). And darn, when you start making hundreds of journals and online blogs to rant, you know just how deep in dissappointed you are with growing up.
Shucks (who says that anymore?), my imagination was better too.
So here I am: old, more artfully talented, less imaginatively capable, and unbelievably bored. In more specific terms: a brat who can't appreciate life for its wonders, no matter how much it wants to again.
I'm probably just bored and should get out more. It's summer, the highscholers are out, and the elementary/intermediate students are bound for break soon. I can't help but wish there was more, but I know I should get my lazy arse off the danged computer and streak around the neighborhood or something crazy like that.
Doubtless I won't do it. But hey, something to chuckle about, huh?
Wish I could find a solitary activity to do, wish I could find something interesting, wish I could find something I know how to do interesting, and wish, wish, wish.
Reminds me of Into the Woods. I'll make something happen, somehow. I hope I don't really have to wish for something to happen, because...really.
People should hope and work at it, instead of wishing their dreams to come true.
End of Pointless Ranting and Thoughtful Speculating
-Ama
You sound so sad (and old) here... Hang in there! You should be happy it's summer!
ReplyDelete"Streak around the neighborhood"
...Oh my.